More than once or twice in our lives the thought came to our minds: "Yes, leave me alone!" in translation - "Leave me alone!". Moreover, we are not necessarily talking about strangers - this can be thought of in the circle of loved ones, from whom, for one reason or another, you want to rest. But only when we are actually completely alone, completely different thoughts come into our heads very quickly. The loneliness paradox is extremely painful.
The basic Instinct
Let's start simple: man is an exclusively social being. Our primate ancestors survived in packs, which then turned into tribes and peoples. One of the most important differences between humans and other animals is their ability to recognize faces. That is why we sometimes see them even in clouds and household items. We feel bad when we are alone, because such is our nature, no matter how hackneyed it sounds. And there is a very simple proof of this.
One of the most famous punishments for a child is to forbid him to walk or even leave his room. That is, to lock them in loneliness, to let them taste all the horror of what may await them in adulthood. Again, what is most important in the world, if you believe the cartoons? That's right, family and friendship, that is, connections in society. As long as you have friends and family, you will not be left alone. Later, by the way, this can lead to less obvious paradoxes. For example, what if one of your loved ones has committed a crime? But this is a completely different story and other depths of morality, into which, God forbid, no one will have to climb.
To save themselves from loneliness, people make dubious acquaintances and put up with unloved relatives. They enter into casual relationships and even sects, which ultimately leads to much worse consequences than if they were simply left alone. The paradox of the purest water, which, alas, is not always noticeable, and then it becomes too late. At the same time, forming unreliable and harmful social ties, in his head a person still remains the same suffering child, locked in a dark room.
The benefits of solitude
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All those who harm themselves in an effort to escape loneliness do not deserve additional condemnation. It's like listening to all childhood and adolescence, that love can be only one, one and only, half of the soul and everything else, and then fall in love and get stuck in a relationship that poison the existence of both people. The paradox only laughs viciously: it turns out that you made the wrong choice? It turns out that half remained somewhere there, and you have already ruined your life for yourself and for someone else to boot? Only the real culprit is a very unhealthy cultural background, praising the last couple of centuries of romantic love to the grave, but ending all fairy tales at the wedding. Also, damn it, a paradox, but while you catch it, you can sip grief. One way or another, loneliness does not have to kill us, we ourselves can perfectly break our necks, fleeing from it.
The cause of panic is sometimes the inability to tell the difference between "loneliness" and "solitude". Here the paradox has already been stored by the great and mighty Russian language - for some reason, two words with actually one root bear the opposite connotation. Being alone is bad, being alone is good. One thing, however, does not always exclude the other, but the realization of the very fact that being alone with oneself can bring not only pain and fear, sometimes works wonders.
In defense of smartphones
The digital age, the development of communication technologies, the telephone and especially the Internet are reasonably considered one of the greatest achievements of mankind. But you probably already guessed where the paradox is hidden here - after all, only the lazy one has not mentioned it in recent years. A picture in the spirit of "the whole family is buried in smartphones at dinner" can be observed both in the form of many caricatures and live.
There is a wealth of research on how modern technology is alienating people and making them feel more alone. There is some truth in this. Share - because cases when the Internet works as intended and brings people closer together are much less spoken about. Why? Because the paradox attracts and arouses great interest. Even when it is more the exception to the rule than the rule itself. Let's try once and for all - yes, that's exactly how ambitious - to put an end to the question, does the dominance of smartphones contribute to the growth of the number of single people?
In short, no, it doesn't. Aside from extreme cases and painful addiction, in general, communication technologies do exactly what they were invented for - connect people. About 50 years ago, being away from home, it was possible to talk to relatives only by phone, and even then with restrictions. About 100 years ago - telegraph or post office, to choose from. Before that, only letters. Now - in any way, up to a video session in decent quality. The future is the tree-stick. This is not to mention communicating with strangers at any distance, which is also very valuable. It turns out that the paradox is far-fetched? Alas, it still exists.
The problem is that digital communication and real communication are still two different phenomena. The first can replace the second, but it will be felt weaker, which gives rise to the sucking feeling of "something is wrong." But it is worth considering: if it seems that people have stopped talking, "constantly burying their heads in the phone," they most likely would avoid communication even without the phone.
The disease is curable
You may have heard of the term loneliness epidemic. By itself, it is also paradoxical, because an epidemic implies infectiousness, and loneliness is not a bacterium or a virus in order to pass from carrier to carrier. But this, of course, is a typical inaccuracy for red, as they say, a word. It is understood that loneliness is akin to illness, it is literally unhealthy. It seems like nothing new, because we have already found out that being alone is not sugar, but now this is confirmed by certain scientific data.
A number of studies conducted by scientists around the world since 2010 have shown that people with strong social connections get sick less, resist cancer better, and even maintain their weight. Yes, loners get fat much faster, even if they eat exactly the same way as sociable people. Awful injustice and paradox in one bottle!
However, do not rush to run as fast as you can to make yourself a dozen or two new friends: the quality of communication is no less important than its quantity. If you have developed a truly trusting relationship with your parents, children, marriage partner, or a couple of best friends, this is enough to get into the positive statistics.
Omar Khayyam wrote:
It is difficult to argue with this, and yet humanity over and over again falls into the same trap. Fear of loneliness - hasty decisions - dire consequences. By the way, we all die alone, even those who are surrounded by children and grandchildren standing near the bed. At least that's what they say. Such is the last, most offensive paradox of all related to this topic.
Sergey Evtushenko