Stress is a frequent companion of an entrepreneur at all stages of business development. At first, it is associated with worries about the performance and profitability of a new business. Then - with concerns about contracts, delivery times, quality of service. Is stress really as bad as we used to think, and can we learn to think differently?
The media tells us that stress is harmful and must be dealt with at any cost. Remove, dissolve, remove, otherwise you won't see a happy life.
Do I need to spend energy fighting it? After all, this is a normal reaction of the body, thanks to which we adapt to changing reality, and within reasonable limits it is necessary and even useful.
True, it cannot be denied that life in constant stress has a lot of side effects. Fatigue accumulates, a person ceases to notice the colors of life, a feeling of being depressed appears. Here it is already not far from quite tangible physical illnesses: my head is splitting, my back is aching, something in my stomach, something in my heart stung. The destructiveness of stress depends on how we think about it. Kelly McGonigal, a professor at Stanford University, described an experiment that looked at how stress affects life expectancy.
People were asked two questions:
- How much stress have they experienced in the last year?
- Do they think stress is harmful to health?
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After 8 years, high stress levels were found to increase the risk of premature death by 43%. But this is only true for those who consider stress to be dangerous. It all depends on the thoughts.
What kind of thinking habits are stressing an entrepreneur?
ANTISTRESS PROGRAM: 10 WAYS TO THINK OTHERWISE
We are all accustomed to thinking according to algorithms in certain situations. And our productivity depends on it. If you learn to track and “intercept” negative thinking habits, there is every chance to turn stress into an ally. And here are 10 ways you can do it.
1. Anti-filtration
Negative filtering is focusing only on the negative side of a situation. It looks like black glasses through which a person looks at life. For example, during the negotiations, the entrepreneur signed a contract, but was faced with an unhappy comment from the customer. And then, recalling the events of the day, he does not seem to notice the good things that have happened, and focuses only on criticism in his address.
The brain is so arranged that we remember negative events longer and in greater detail. This negative thinking has developed through evolution, when the threat lurked from different directions, forcing you to be in constant tension. Ancient times have passed, but the habit has remained.
Practicing mindfulness (or mayfulness) can help you develop a new skill of positive thinking. To do this, it is enough to start a diary, you can use a work diary. At the end of the day, write down three positive things that happened during the day. According to research by Martin Seligman, the founder of positive psychology, people who keep a positive diary are 10% happier.
2. Antipolarization
We often get used to thinking in opposite categories: black and white, good and bad. And the entrepreneur, falling into the trap of his own perfectionism, tries to do everything for 5, and if it doesn't work out for 5, then this is automatically bad. As if there are only extremes in the world and there are no semitones. This kind of thinking is very limiting and contributes to the growth of internal tension. After all, in order to be the best, one must constantly keep the brand, do everything perfectly, and avoid mistakes. Which, in principle, is unlikely.
What to do if you notice such a habit? Stop rushing to extremes when assessing the situation, and try to gradually lower the bar for perfectionism. Ask yourself a simple question: "What percentage is good or bad?" Better to let something be done not perfectly, but still it will be done. This is already the result.
3. Anti-disasterization
Catastrophization is a habit of thinking when a person is constantly expecting and imagining an impending disaster. What if there is a production failure? What if the item doesn't arrive in time? And when the bell rings in the receiver, the person shudders, and the imagination is already drawing the most dramatic scenario. As a result, the entrepreneur always expects the worst. In this state, it is very difficult to create something and act productively.
To change your thinking, it is important to learn how to soberly and impartially determine the likelihood of an event. Can this really happen to me? If so, then instead of worrying, it is better to take timely action. If not, why cheat yourself?
It also helps to bring your own fear of disaster to the point of absurdity and ask 5 times one simple question: "What's so terrible about that?" More often than not, a person gets sober by going through this chain to the end.
4. Dealing with control errors
The issue of control over the situation is key for many. If it seems to us that someone from the outside controls us, we perceive ourselves as a helpless creature, a victim of evil fate. For example, if the senior partner did not fulfill the obligation, I am also not responsible for anything, it is not my fault. That's how it is, but the situation is not solved by this.
Errors related to internal control are also highlighted. A person takes responsibility for everything good and bad that happens to him, business, partners, suppliers, customers, the situation in the country. There are times when an entrepreneur reproaches himself for a failed deal, because he acted not so, forgetting to take into account that the procurement situation has changed.
Mistakes or failures are an integral part of life. Everyone is wrong. Try to find a middle ground between hyperresponsibility on the verge of self-flagellation and the other pole - spinelessness and the position of the victim, on which nothing depends. Then just go for it.
5. Dealing with equity bugs
A heightened sense of justice is another tendency that can be harmful. If we are convinced that we live in an absolutely just world, we repeatedly fall into accusations of those who, in our understanding, are "extreme", "deserve" this or that situation, who are to blame for our failure.
The same applies to self-incrimination: I deserve punishment, because I overlooked it, I did it there. Most often you hear from entrepreneurs: why is the world so unfair to me? What have I done wrong? Why am I worse than Peter? Why does the client buy from him and not from me?
Instead of feeling resentful about an unfair world, it is worth taking and doing the same, or even better than Peter did for the clients. Do not be offended, do not berate yourself, but use the feeling of injustice as a growth point for your own business. Just take it and do it.
6. "How it should be"
We love to drive ourselves into debt, to make high demands on ourselves, others, and the world as a whole. “I should be a good leader”, “Business should bring 3 million rubles a month”, “Relatives and the team should approve of me”, “Everything should be the way I want”. And this, on the one hand, pushes the entrepreneur forward towards the set goals, and on the other hand, makes him hostage to his own high expectations.
In life, as in business, there is no absolute 100% hit in all "shoulds". How not to despair yourself if something went wrong, not to eat everyone around, who also "should have"? The recipe is simple: admit the possibility of your own and others' mistakes, admit that other people are also unique and can live according to their own scenarios.
7. Dealing with change errors
Business can be improved by changing employees, partners, clients, and anyone else. We often unreasonably expect that another person - a business partner, employee, spouse - can change and begin to more effectively meet our expectations. We want to change others, because our profit and a happy life depend on these changes.
Once this thought hits you, ask the question: How can I change myself? Simple and effective - start with yourself. Taking into account the uniqueness of each person, including your own, move at a comfortable pace, develop your business. People who will be on a par or ahead of you will be useful, those who will lag behind you do not need. They have their own pace, and this must be respected.
8. "I'm always right"
A common pattern of behavior is the desire to prove that our actions and opinions are always correct. The adherents of this model are ready to go to any lengths to show they are right. "This business will be successful in spite of everything, we need to invest a little more effort and money." I saw a large number of entrepreneurs who could not believe that they were wrong, that it was time to close the business. Despite the objective indicators of failure, they still continued to invest, selling everything that was in the family at that time, just not to admit that they were wrong.
What to do? Allow yourself and others to make mistakes. After all, it's easier to admit a mistake, go further and maintain relationships with loved ones, than to continue investing in a dying project.
9. Refusal to expect rewards from above
An entrepreneur, especially if this is his first business, gives all of himself to the cause. It works for self-denial and self-sacrifice, assuming that someday the business will work itself and the efforts will pay off. It would make sense if we didn’t come up with our own timing for receiving such an "award".
I have come across situations when an entrepreneur had to work intensively not for a year, two, but for five years. If at the same time he does not sleep, does not restore strength and put his whole life on the line, then in case of failure, drama or even prolonged depression occurs. How can you avoid disappointment? Live in action, not waiting. Count on your strength not for a sprint, but for a marathon. Build your own reward and reward system on a daily / weekly basis.
10. Taking good care of others
And here, too, there can be two extremes. We either forget about others, focusing on ourselves and become callous, or we go into hyper-concern, feeling responsibility for the thoughts and actions of others (for example, the collective), their choice and well-being. Everyone suffers from this behavior.
How can you avoid the associated stress? Find a balance: be caring, but at the same time be interested in the opinions of others and allow them to live their lives. Perhaps it will be volunteering or charity. See what is closest to you and your business.
As you can see, no matter what happens, we can both fall into stress and not do it. Life becomes much more interesting if you learn: in each situation, we ourselves decide how to react and what to experience.
Author: Maria Vegesh