Catherine never received communion. She did not confess. Didn't go to Sunday school. She did not even read the Gospel and did not know our Father. And, despite this, she became the star of our Christian world. What did she have that we do not have, who read the Gospel, partake of the Mysteries of Christ and kiss His image? What was it in the soul of the deceased Porfry, Empress Augusta, and the two hundred soldiers who were not even baptized?
Two people collided - a girl and a Caesar. Their duel was very important for Rome. Augustus, who seemed to the Romans to be an avatar of God, turned out to be stupid, low and meanly cruel. This duel knocked down the divine wreath from Caesar. He made the empire think. Rome did not forgive the unworthy king neither meanness, nor stupidity, nor cowardice. Rome did not like cowards and villains at all. But Rome once again looked at Christ and Christians.
About seven years remained before the adoption of Christianity by Rome, and the feat of Catherine was a great martyr not only in the strength of her suffering, but in the importance that he had for the universe, for the destruction of paganism.
The girl was from a royal family. A very educated, well-mannered and beautiful aristocrat. Caesar came from shopkeepers. Rude, depraved, angry to the point of rage and very cruel. Cruelty is always the lot of cowards who have gained power.
The girl showed courage and firmness, like a real Roman warrior. Courageous is the one who fearlessly goes to meet a beautiful death. And she fearlessly went to meet death and defeated not only the brutal Maximian, but death itself.
She remained calm throughout the torture. Torment did not humiliate her, because humiliation of a captive is a shame for the tormentor. She had no shame - not when she was stripped and beaten, not when she, disfigured by torture and covered with abuse, was taken through the city, not when her tortured young body fell on the dusty ground without a head.
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Caesar Maximian.
August, on the other hand, sank into the fury of an old bad woman. In a fit of rage with fantastic cruelty, he ordered to rip out his wife's breasts and then executed her by chopping off her wife's head, because she stood up for the brave Catherine and believed God. It even occurred to him, an old man who had washed his hand in the blood of his wife, to immediately propose to marry Saint Catherine. A good groom.
In a fit of rage, he also executed Porfiry's faithful comrade-in-arms, who admired the girl's courage and wisdom. Together with him, two hundred excellent Roman soldiers, who remained loyal to their commander and his sagacious mind, accepted a martyr's death. They correctly decided that if the commander cared about their lives, then he would not wish them anything bad in death.
In a fit of stupidity and eternal hatred of the ignorant towards educated people, this ugly old man killed fifty philosophers who did not find a flaw in the logic of the well-educated Catherine.
Villainy can win a day, a year, a decade, but in eternity it always loses.
So, we see that there is one death, but the result is different. Death is red, and it can be mean. We choose how we die and where we go after death.
Where did such a spirit come from in a weak girl? And why is this spirit not with us?
Catherine never received communion. She did not confess. Didn't go to Sunday school. She did not even read the Gospel and did not know our Father. And, despite this, she became the star of our Christian world. What did she have that we do not have, who read the Gospel, partake of the Mysteries of Christ and kiss His image? What was it in the soul of the deceased Porfiry, Empress Augusta and the two hundred soldiers who were not even baptized?
Vera.
Faith is such a gift from God that is given easily, but only to clean hands and to a person with a pure heart. That is, someone who does not do evil with his hands and does not hold dirty thoughts in his heart.
This means that the warriors, despite the roughness of their profession, were able to preserve the idea of loyalty and honor. It is obvious that constant being in the face of death revealed to them that our earthly life is only a shadow, behind which is real life.
This means that the Empress, who died a terrible death, somehow was able to be righteous both in the world and in marriage, since she was able to become worthy of accepting the gift of faith. And the measure of the faith adopted was such that Augusta was absolutely sure that her suffering was worth what is beyond the bounds of earthly life.
Obviously, the lost philosophers have made it very clear to themselves that the mind has discovered a truth for which it is very worth dying.
But we all know this and do not believe. How did it happen that these Romans, so different in their ministry, could simultaneously, with one spirit, accept such a strong faith?
We do not understand this, because we live in the wrong and think badly.
We all clearly understand that keeping sin in our hearts is very difficult, dangerous and very harmful, but we keep it and protect it. We all understand that all our works, which were created without love, will not bring us either happiness or peace, but we create them. Because our heart has become so hardened that it no longer hears the thunder of the angelic trumpets accompanying God in his descent into our temple. It has become so stupid that it does not fit the meaning of God's speech addressed to us during the reading of the Gospel. It has dried up so much that even the blood of Christ does not revive it with the moisture of the sacrament.
Looking at the personality of Catherine, we must note with regret that our soul, in contrast to her soul, seemed to be covered with a stone shirt. Under this stone, somewhere in the depths, there still lives a faint memory of God, of eternal life and of the Kingdom of Heaven. But the power of love for money, for fame, our pride and pride drown out the voice of the memory of God so that we live as if there is neither God nor death.
We are afraid of death and, paradox, that is why we never really begin to live. We want to go to heaven and at the same time we are afraid of death. So, we do not start living here or there.
We are like Adam, who believed that he was a god, we ourselves live like immortal gods, and resent the fact of death, which is offensive to the gods. And it would be worth not to lament and be indignant, but to think: how is it that we, the gods, are at the same time mortal. And if not gods, then why do we live as if this world should serve us.
We think that the original sin is somewhere out there, in the depths of centuries, but here it is, in front of us and in us.
We think that we are being saved by the faith of Christ, but it turns out that we, like Adam, know that He is Jehovah and that we hide from God all our lives, cunning and decorating ourselves with an absurd outfit of fig leaves of self-justification.
And the worst thing is that we do not see, do not hear and do not understand God. And Saint Catherine not only saw Him, but became so close that she stretched out her hand and received a wedding ring on her finger from the Heavenly King himself.
Faith is an invaluable gift that allows us not only to see God, but to be so close to Him that we feel like His brother, sister, son or daughter, and even a bride. Without this deeply personal perception, faith is an empty matter.
For God - the closer we are to Him, the more joyful He is. There is no measure in which He would restrict us to dissolve in Him. He is ready for any degree of kinship that we can offer Him.
The price of this faith is our victim of addiction to lies, money, satiety, power, fornication and pride. The Holy Scripture says: "Where your treasure is, there is your heart." If we keep these passions, then we will never see God next to us.
This Nativity Fast was established so that we, at least for a while, could dispel the illusion of those gifts with which the cruel, ugly and flattering Caesar tempted the young pure soul of Catherine.
In this duel, it was as if the temptation of Christ in the wilderness was repeated, when Satan tempted Him with the blessings of the world. But this time the Almighty God Himself won not personally. Victory came through His faithful friend - Catherine, tender in her youth and faithful to her love. By the example of this story, we see that, just like the young new martyr, not only the Kingdom of Heaven is open to us, but the love of God. Actually, this is why Christ came: to teach us love and courage.
So that we, as this saint, can see God as the best Friend and love Him. After all, the payment for His love is small for us - the rusty money of our sins, which not only does not enrich us, but, on the contrary, makes us poor.
On the other hand, we can be jealous of ourselves. We have a whole book ahead of us and an eternity of yet unrecognized magnificent love with God. How many beautiful things lie ahead, on the way to this love.
Help us, Lord, to find You and hold your hand. And you would also give us the ring of Your Father's love on our fingers.
PRIEST KONSTANTIN KAMYSHANOV
