This happens at the most inopportune moment: for no reason, fatigue falls on, people around you begin to irritate, and most importantly, the thought of work causes nausea and headache, from which no medicine can save. The therapist will say: "The nerves were naughty," and the psychologist will diagnose: "emotional burnout syndrome."
Psychologists say that everyone has the risk of joining the ranks of the "burned out", but first of all those who work with people are susceptible to the syndrome: teachers and psychologists (no matter how funny it sounds), salespeople, doctors, journalists, businessmen and politicians. And even if all your life you dreamed of helping your neighbors or performing in front of an audience, sooner or later you can exceed your "communication limit", get oversaturated and thereby "set the wick on fire."
How does this happen? Everything looks pretty harmless at first. No breakdowns and hysterics, just feelings become muffled, joy disappears somewhere, and any events are seen as if through a gray veil.
Further it gets worse. Relatives and acquaintances, business partners and colleagues, a neighbor, out of politeness inquiring about your health, and a passer-by who asked what time it was, are pissed off. At this stage, many people release dogs on clients and subordinates. The more diplomatic poor fellows stay at work, but they speak of everyone around them with invariable sarcasm.
But no matter how a person tries to control his behavior, internal tension grows, it is more and more difficult to remain calm, and the moment comes when irritation splashes out on the heads of innocent people. The explosion is replaced by an intolerable feeling of guilt, but the next day the situation repeats itself. Worst of all, the honest worker himself cannot understand the reasons for his total dissatisfaction. It is not far from here to complete "combustion", when interest in work is completely lost, and only ashes and emptiness remain in the place of the soul.
What's going on? Psychologists know: the reasons for emotional burnout lie in our myths - stereotypes and attitudes.
Myth one: "hero"
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“Heroes” always sacrifice themselves for the sake of others, in the name of an idea or a common cause. This myth is most widespread in Russia: in our culture, sacrifice is almost equated with holiness. Remember the motto: "Shining on others, I burn myself"? Very Russian! Refusal of one's own interests and personal life, denial of the possibility of being weak - these are the main signs of the characters of the heroic myth.
People with such a life attitude forbid themselves ordinary feelings: they have not love, but great passion, not everyday chores, but acts of a universal scale. In the eyes of those around them, they are indeed real heroes - strong, invincible. You can worship them, you can admire them, but to be on an equal footing with them, to help or sympathize with the "supermen" - such a thought would hardly occur to anyone. And this is precisely what the heroic sufferers lack.
In order not to burn out, we advise you to always remember the following:
- You are also a person, which means that you have to think about yourself, put yourself first, take care of your health, find time for rest and recuperation.
- At work, you have the right not to take everything upon yourself, but to distribute responsibilities between employees.
- You need a support group: let at least one or two trusted people into your life, in front of whom you do not need to play the role of a superhuman hero. Allow yourself to share your feelings, experiences and even … ask for help with loved ones.
Myth two: "lifeguard"
He feels at ease only when he helps someone, and even better when he saves. Some become professional “rescuers”: educators, psychologists, nurses, social workers, etc. Others take care of others “on a voluntary basis”. The heroes of this myth necessarily have a loser friend, a completely unhappy girlfriend, an alcoholic husband, who are not able to live a day without their benefactor. A special sign: sometimes "rescuers" get others around with excessive care for and without reason.
If you look deeper, it becomes clear that “saving drowning people” is nothing more than a desire to escape from our own problems. It is also one of the ways to gain power and control over others: helping others, "rescuers" feel strong, significant, noble - in a word, irreplaceable.
Every rescuer should know that:
- plunging headlong into someone else's life, you risk never living your own;
- others do not always need your help;
- whenever you want to “save” someone, ask yourself three questions: “Does a person really need support?”, “Is he able to get out of the situation on his own?”, “What terrible can happen if I don't intervene?”.
The third myth: "golden ducat"
It is difficult for the victims of this myth to understand that only a gold piece is liked by absolutely everyone, and a living person is not able to please everyone. "Chervontsy" are very comfortable for those around them: soft and pliable, like plasticine. To please you, they are ready to become your shadow, nod in agreement and do whatever you ask. They almost never say no, because people can be offended. “Golden ducks” grow out of very obedient children who have learned from the cradle that being good means not upsetting anyone.
The most striking female version of this myth is Cinderella, who with angelic patience endured the attacks of her stepmother, fulfilling all requests and orders. For this, the fairy rewarded the girl: she arranged a meeting with the prince. In life, alas, things are different: modern Cinderellas make any sacrifices, if only everyone around was happy. But there is no reward - and there cannot be! So gradually, resentment and anger arise in the hearts of our heroines, burning them from the inside.
A typical male “ducat” is the hero of Danelia's film “Autumn Marathon”. He is afraid of offending an old acquaintance and edits her mediocre text when his own translation is on fire; he is afraid to leave his wife and break off relations with his mistress, although the life of two houses has tired him out; is afraid of offending a handsome Swedish professor and after a sleepless night makes a health run with him. Bottom line: dreams, hopes, plans - everything goes to hell …
Tips for "gold pieces":
- Everyone has their own scale of values, so being good for everyone is absolutely unrealistic.
- Learn not only your responsibilities, but your rights as well.
- Learn to say “no”, even if at first you will feel at this moment that you are a traitor to all that is most holy.
The fourth myth: "Sisyphus"
These are real workaholics, ready to put their lives on conquering professional heights. Having climbed one peak, they, without giving themselves a minute of rest, not allowing themselves to rejoice at the victory, immediately look for a new, steeper "mountain". Higher and higher and higher "Sisyphus" roll their stone, relying only on themselves, not accepting help even from the closest. Because they are sure that no one else can cope with their burden.
"Sisyphus" is easy to calculate. He stays at work for a long time, he is afraid to go on vacation. If he leaves, he doesn't know what to do and constantly calls the service. Previously, only men were "Sisyphus". Not so long ago, women appeared among workaholics, who were dubbed "iron ladies" for their inflexibility and perseverance.
Messrs. Careerists! In order not to overstrain and not slide head over heels from the highest mountain, heed our recommendations:
- You are not a machine and you need a good rest.
- When leaving the service, not only turn off the lights, but also leave thoughts of work in the office.
- When you arrive home, shower and change immediately. Let this daily ritual become the line separating the two areas of life.
- Choose a hobby that does not resemble work in any way.
- Especially for the "iron ladies": before leaving the office, use a different, more frivolous perfume. They will help you change your mindset.
The main thing is to be attentive to yourself, stop looking for happiness or salvation in your work. And of course, choose a business to your liking - in accordance with your inclinations and talents.
The material was prepared by Natalia Osukhova, Anna Barinova