To understand what you want, you need to look inside yourself, and not dwell on material desires.
Do you know what you live for? Do you have goals that motivate you to move on, give you the strength to move forward?
They are there, but you allow other people, events, circumstances to overshadow them? Allowing others to violate your own boundaries? Then this is written for you …
Here, I will not describe your or my situations that have occurred in our lives. They are all about one thing - we allow other people, circumstances, spaces to use our time, our energy based on their delusions and limitations of the mind. Have you heard this: “You cannot be selfish! You have to be kind! We need to help others! A woman must serve, take care! A man should be responsible for everyone! Such beliefs are countless. And each of us has his own trick, on the hook of which he constantly falls and does nothing for himself. Because he simply does not have the strength to do it. How, then, to maintain a balance between - to give and take, between - and others? First you need to learn the fact that it is impossible to give anything to anyone if we are empty. If we are not fulfilled, if we have not done anything for ourselves, what can we pass on to others?
I remember a Jewish parable on this topic: “Once upon a time there was a poor Jewish family. There were many children, but little money. The poor mother worked for wear and tear - she cooked, washed, and screamed, handed out slaps and loudly complained about life.
Finally, exhausted, I went to the rabbi for advice: how to become a good mother?
She came out thoughtful. Since then it has been changed. No, the money in the family has not increased. And the children did not become more obedient. But now mom did not scold them, and a friendly smile did not leave her face. Once a week she went to the market, and when she returned, for the whole evening, she locked herself in a room.
The children were tormented by curiosity. Once they violated the ban and dropped in to see their mother.
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She sat at the table and drank tea with sweet tsimes!
“Mom, what are you doing? But what about us? - the children shouted indignantly.
“Sha, children! She answered importantly. "I make you a happy mom!"
And this is not at all about egoism, but about the necessity for our existence, for the disclosure of opportunities and inner harmony with the world. Only by satisfying our needs, realizing our own significance in ourselves, can we take the first steps towards the needs and desires of other people. You need to share strength, not weakness! Love, not emptiness! Peace of mind, not anger! And everyone most likely wants it to be that way. But we empty ourselves for the sake of others, not because we are so kind and compassionate. The point here is that our inner goals have no weight. The necessary value, in order to say about the importance of certain things for us at a time when we prefer others to ourselves. As life practice shows, this happens because there are no goals, there are desires. And they, as a rule, are external in nature: a car,apartment, trip, marriage, etc. Therefore, our mind and our energy is directed towards the outer aspects of life. And there is not even a reason to look inside yourself, be alone with yourself and find out: What do I really want?
I hope to motivate you to start living for yourself, not to confuse self-love with selfishness, and most importantly, to start acting!
In this place, the need arises to build priorities in your life. To do this, you need to ask yourself questions.
Where am I going?
Let's imagine our whole life as a road, as one line along which we walk, from birth to the present moment. And we will identify it with our main interests, we will present minor interests as branches, paths along this path, and it will become clear to us where this path will lead us. Is it moving up, step by step or in a circle? For some it may look like a map of the Moscow metro. Each of us has our own way of revealing our creative aspect in this life, developing and knowing ourselves, our values.
Do I have a main inner goal?
Whatever it is: harmony within yourself, knowledge of unconditional love, expansion of consciousness, joy of life or something else, but it always has a very intimate and special meaning for you. This is exactly what you start to awaken in the process: there is a separation of your thinking and mind. And your stable interests, as well as hobbies, give you those states when you can feel the achievement of this goal.
How much energy do I give to this goal?
Calculate how much time you spend each day getting these states. How much time do you spend on something that you just love. Simply because you do it and enjoy the process itself.
Do I want to accumulate my energy for this?
And that means if you want to increase the depth of these states. Let's say your inner goal is a sense of oneness with the universe. And you reach this state in painting, are you ready to do this, to study as a student who wants to become a master?
Is this goal worth living for?
Does this state bring you the accumulation of joy and lightness in life within you? How valuable is this fortune to you? Does it create a desire to act?
What am I willing to do to achieve this goal?
Are you ready to give up your laziness or desire to "sit on social networks" for this? Or ask loved ones today to solve their everyday needs, for example. And not to listen to the neighbor again with her complaints about life and discontent.
And, if there is a goal or found, and a person wants to achieve it, then what difference does it make that someone needs your energy to fulfill their banalities? One of the biggest waste of energy is stopping stupidity from self-destructing! Start appreciating yourself! Appreciate your energy, your time! Love your main inner goal and cherish it! Nurture her! Feed her! And in the very near future, she herself will begin to feed you! It is she who will give you strength, resources and opportunities to achieve external desires and goals. The power of creation and achievement originates within us, and comes from the very depths of our existence outside.
Marina Gritsai-Legostaeva, regressologist, specialist in body-oriented practices