The way we speak has a powerful effect on our lives. However, few of us pay sufficient attention to our choice of words. Research has shown that using negative words such as “no,” can alter the production of beneficial hormones and neurotransmitters in favor of those that disrupt key structures that regulate our memory, feelings, and emotions. Changing speech by choosing a different set of words, changing the way we talk to ourselves and to others, can affect our optimism and increase the desire in other people to hear what we are saying.
Below are some tips on how to make your speech work for you.
“The spoken words create the home in which we live” - Hafiz
The most powerful word in our vocabulary … "MORE"
We often make negative statements such as, "I can't speak French," "I don't know how to lose weight." But adding a small word "more" to each such statement completely changes the modality of the statement. Instead of telling us that we are unable to do something, we declare that we are committed to doing so. Our brains recognize the subtle difference between a hopeless statement and a statement that suggests it will happen in the future. Every time you start something new, remember that this little word at hand makes statements stronger and more promising. For example, "I don't know anything about economics yet," or "I haven't run a marathon yet."
Banishing the word "STRENGTH" from your life
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The word "tense" and its synonyms are becoming buzzwords. We strive to be tense, as if it proves that we are doing important things and not just wasting our lives. Tension implies that we are working hard to complete everything that needs to be done. You can replace such words with similar, but not over-the-counter words, such as "productivity" or "fullness." This simple switch gives us the strength to get results that we can control without the expected strain. Eliminating rush and slowing down, in fact, makes us more efficient at performing multiple tasks at once. We don't need busy days - we need productive days.
No longer "MUST"
This word does not imply affirmative action. It creates an external explanation for the actions we want to do. If we intend to act on the basis of personal power, then the motivation for this must come from within. It is advisable to replace the word "must" with words such as "intend", "going", or "can." Thus, we more emphasize our aspirations. For example, instead of saying that we have to learn something, it is better to say that we are going to learn it. Thinking carefully about the source of the motivation for action is good exercise. Our peers, parents, culture or religion can make us think that we have to do something. If this “should” is not what we really want, should we do it?
Refusal from "I WILL TRY"
The word "try" suggests that we may not be going to do it, or we are not trying to be successful at it. You need to remove the word "try" from your vocabulary. This will create a more positive and stronger attitude. If we intend to do something, then we need to do it. If we are not going to do something, then we need to admit it. This is how we tune our inner state and begin to more clearly understand what we want to do in life.
Moving to positivity (or rejecting negative statements)
In guiding ourselves towards what we want, we need to use a more convincing manner of speech than one that takes us away from the goal. Instead of saying, "I need to stop dating losers," you should use a phrase like, "I'll be dating people who make me feel better." Instead of saying, “Stop fighting with your brother,” it’s better to say, “I would like to hear how you communicate with each other kindly.”
It is not only what is said that matters, but how it is pronounced is also important
There has been a lot of research into how posture and body language affect our ability to be heard successfully. Here are some simple tips on how to speak:
1. When talking, you need to look the other person in the eye.
2. The shoulders should be pulled back.
3. Hands are placed on the hips or along the sides.
4. Legs slightly apart.
5. When sitting, arms and legs should not be crossed.
6. The voice should be loud enough, but not too loud.
By taking a little time to change the way we speak, we can improve communication at work, at home, and in our personal relationships. To change your mind, you need to change your choice of words.