Reading other people's thoughts - 19 tricks
Sometimes a person's non-verbal manifestations do not coincide with what he says aloud. How to learn to read other people's thoughts?
If someone crosses their arms, we may think that they are shutting off from us, when in reality they are simply frozen. But when we try to discern what a person really thinks and feels, knowing body language will help us understand what kinds of gestures and facial expressions to look out for.
We've compiled 19 science-based findings about the meaning of body language that you can use in your daily life.
Language of the body
1. SHOULDER SUSPENSION IS A UNIVERSAL SIGNAL OF NOT UNDERSTANDING WHAT IS HAPPENING
Shrugging is an example of a universal gesture that indicates that the person does not know or understand what you are saying.
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This complex gesture has three main parts:
- open palms, which show that nothing is hidden in them,
- upturned shoulders to protect the throat from attack,
- and raised eyebrows as a universal humble greeting.
2. OPEN PALS ARE AN ANCIENT DISPLAY OF HONESTY
When someone vows to speak the truth in court, he places one hand on the religious text and raises the other up, with the palm directed towards those to whom he is speaking.
This is done because an open hand is associated with truth, honesty, loyalty and dedication to the law.
Just like a dog sticks out its throat to show its submissive position and its willingness to surrender at the mercy of the winner, people use their palms to show that they are unarmed and therefore pose no threat.
3. NO WRINKLES AROUND THE EYES INDICATES A FAKE SMILE
When someone demonstrates fake joy, scientists call it Duchenne's smile.
It's almost impossible to smile on command. A real smile causes wrinkles around the eyes. When you smile sincerely, they manifest. When you pretend, they are not.
If someone is trying to look happy when they really aren't, you won't see wrinkles around their eyes.
4. RAISED EYEBROWS - A COMMON SIGN OF DISCOMFORT
In the same way that genuine smiles collect wrinkles around the eyes, worry, surprise, or fear can cause people to raise their eyebrows in discomfort.
So, if someone praises your new hairstyle or outfit with raised eyebrows, they may not be entirely sincere.
5. POINTING GESTURE WITH PALM DOWN - THIS IS AN ATTEMPT TO DOMINATE
If someone puts their hand down, pointing their index finger at you, this is an attempt at dominance, although this is not always successful.
A closed palm with an extended index finger is a fist, where the finger plays the role of a symbolic club, which the speaker, figuratively speaking, brings down on the heads of the listeners, calling them to obey.
Subconsciously, this causes negative feelings in other people, because it is the primary movement of most primates when physically attacked.
6. IF YOU MIRROR MIRROR YOU, THE TALK WILL GO SMOOTHLY
When two people get along, their posture and gestures mimic each other. When your best friend crosses his legs, you do the same.
If you are on a date and a spark has run between you, both of you will repeat the same stupid gestures.
This is because we mirror each other when we feel connected.
7. BUT IF YOU ARE LOOKING IN THE EYES FOR A LONG TIME, YOU MAY LIE
In an attempt to avoid the "shifting eyes" effect, experienced liars deliberately hold their gaze for too long, so that the interlocutor even becomes a little uncomfortable. They may even freeze and stare at you without blinking.
8. LONG VISUAL CONTACT SHOWS INTEREST - BOTH POSITIVE AND NEGATIVE
When you look someone in the eye, it causes arousal in the body.
But how this arousal is interpreted will depend on the people themselves and the surrounding circumstances.
A stranger's gaze can seem sinister and cause threat, panic, and fear.
And the long “alcove” look of an attractive sexual partner causes arousal, which is perceived extremely positively - and is regarded as a sexual invitation.
9. EXPENSIVE POSITION SPEAKS ABOUT POWER AND SENSE OF ACHIEVEMENT
How people hold up is the key to understanding how they feel.
If someone is leaning back relaxedly, they probably feel strong and in control.
Research shows that even from birth blind people raise their hands in a V shape when they win sports.
10. "CLUSTER" OF GESTURES SHOWS A REAL SENSE OF CONNECTION
Attraction is transmitted not through one signal, but through their sequence.
For example, after making eye contact with a potential partner, a woman looks down a little, picks up or straightens her hair, and then looks back at the man with her chin up slightly.
11. CROSS LEGS ARE A SIGN OF RESISTANCE AND LOW SENSITIVITY, AND THIS IS A BAD SIGN IN NEGOTIATION
Crossed legs are a signal that the person is mentally, psychologically and emotionally closed, and you have little chance of making progress in negotiations.
12. TIGHTENED JAWS, TIGHTENED NECK, FURNISHED EYEBROWS SPEAK OF STRESS
These "limbic responses" are associated with the brain system of the same name. Emotion, recognizing and responding to threats, and ensuring our survival are all responsibilities of the limbic system.
The bus leaves without us, and we clench our jaws, rubbing our necks. We are asked to go to work on weekends and our pupils narrow and our chin drops. People have shown discomfort in this way for millions of years.
13. IF PEOPLE CONTINUOUSLY TOUCH THEIR FACE OR HANDS, THEY ARE NERVOUS
We have evolved by learning to show nervousness without using words.
What are the most common manifestations of our anxiety? Face touching and hand rubbing. Both are calming behaviors when you feel uncomfortable. We often touch ourselves during times of stress.
14. IF THEY LAUGH WITH YOU, YOU LIKE THEM
If someone understands your humor, they are interested in you.
Humor - and a positive outlook on humor - play a key role in human development. It also serves as a way to signal the desire for a relationship, be it friendly or romantic.
15. EXPANSIVE, AUTHORITIES SHOW LEADERSHIP
Whether they are innate or acquired, there are many cues and behaviors that people use when they feel like leaders, or at least try to convince others to do so.
These include an upright posture, a purposeful gait, hands folded together and palm-down gestures, as well as open postures and body positions aimed at expanding oneself in space.
16. SWINGING THE FOOT GIVES A WILDER INNER CONDITION
Your legs are the most visible part of your body. So when they move, it's hard to miss. Swinging your leg is a signal of concern, irritation, anxiety, or all of this together.
17. EASY SMILE ATTENDED WITH A DIRECT LOOK MAY BE AN ATTEMPT OF Seduction
There is a certain type of smile that people display when they try to be seductive.
This is usually a light smile that accompanies direct eye contact, after which they slowly look away, but still maintain a smile.
Interestingly, a seductive smile can be accompanied by both submissive behavior (accompanied by a downward tilt of the head), and dominant - like the look away proudly and slowly.
18. IF THE INNER CORNERS OF THE EYEBROW DO NOT MOVE UP-DOWN, THE PERSON IS NOT AS SAD AS HE SAYS
Psychologists use the term “reliable muscles” for muscles in the face that you cannot control of your own free will.
If you see someone who says they are very sad, but the inner corners of their eyebrows do not lift up or move, they may not feel that way at all.
The fact is that we cannot intentionally control these muscles, despite our best efforts.
19. IF ONE SIDE OF THE FACE IS MORE ACTIVE THAN ANOTHER, A PERSON MAY EXPERIENCE FALSE EMOTIONS
The vast majority of facial expressions are bilateral - that is, they appear on both sides of the face in the same way.
The next time you tell a joke, see if your audience's smile is symmetrical when they laugh.
Author: Vera Buyanova
