Learning to control your emotions without suppressing them and letting them be is the secret to improving your mood and feeling inner happiness. Psychology helps to properly experience emotions and learn how to manage them. It is very important for your mental health to allow yourself to feel what you are feeling.
Important! Uncontrollable emotions are the causes of neuroses and other troubles.
By controlling emotions, you will learn to understand yourself, not to succumb to and not allow them to influence your decisions and actions. Where do neuroses come from? Why do people not know how to control emotions and quickly lose their temper? How is it that a person quickly turns on, but calms down for a very long time? Scandals, screams, criticism, conflicts, accompanying experiences, worries, desire to control and manage, as well as various psychosomatic illnesses are closely related to emotions. A person does not understand his emotions, does not know where they come from, does not know how to control them and get along with them.
Parenting pressure
Why does a person lose contact with what they feel? Remember those educational norms that parents set for children, then educators, teachers and society as a whole:
- "Boys shouldn't cry."
- "What is love? - When you grow up, you will understand."
- "Do not be sad".
- "Don't laugh in public."
- “Do not be discouraged, it is a sin,” and so on.
From the very childhood, a person is driven into some kind of framework: do not experience this, do not express this, be friendly, and all other feelings are not important to other people. Everything is aimed at teaching a person to control himself, but it turns out that they program him to abandon his emotions, to lose touch with them, not to control them.
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Awareness of emotions
It is unpleasant for you - you are offended, shouting or quarreling with another person. How events can unfold in a given situation, you yourself know. But what do you forget to think about? About what emotions you experience in this unpleasant situation. "What I feel?" - ask yourself this question.
Feel your emotions, no matter how good or bad they are. Become aware of your feelings, feel their nature and "behavior" within you. Allow yourself to feel what you are feeling. This is unusual, especially for men who are not allowed to cry.
If you cry, then cry, if you laugh, then laugh. Why should you limit yourself in your emotions? The more you suppress your emotions, the less you control them. Many studies have shown that not expressed emotions became the causes of illness. The right to feel free When you are boiling over, you can no longer control yourself. Suppressing emotions in yourself, you lose control over them. They accumulate within you and burst out at the most inopportune moment.
Note! The inability to manage our emotions leads to the fact that the negative accumulated inside us breaks out and turns into a nervous breakdown or hysteria. Therefore, if you are unhappy, allow yourself to be unhappy.
Realize that you have the right to:
- Be dissatisfied with something.
- You do not have to express your discontent, but you have the right to feel it and not suppress it in yourself.
- You are not obligated to vent your anger at others, but you have the right to be angry at the people who have offended you.
The rules of etiquette are: "You must be pleasant and friendly." Do you want to be friendly with someone who is not friendly with you? Why should you have feelings that you do not have when communicating with this person?
Why do you not allow yourself to be angry or offended, since you are experiencing these very feelings. “This is unpleasant to me, and I allow myself to be dissatisfied,” - say this to yourself every time, substituting the feeling that you are experiencing under the word “unpleasant”. Realize that if you allow yourself, for example, to be angry, you are already splashing out your emotions.
Freedom to feel - control of emotions
You will not have a situation where your anger has accumulated and you will commit an unforgivable act. If you allow yourself to be angry, feel the emotion and do not interfere with it living inside you, but calmly watch how it covers your body, you will notice that this feeling quickly passes.
Why is that? The rules of decency force everyone to be affable and friendly towards people who are aggressive towards you. How correct is this and why is it impossible to express true emotion in relation to the aggressor?
You are aware of emotions, you feel them, you allow them to be. Then they are experienced and passed. You do not control, but give freedom to be in you and pass when it is convenient for them to do it.
By allowing your feelings to take control of you, you control them without trying to force it. This behavior gives you emotional compensation when you are aware of your feelings and know how to negotiate with them:
- Be in me as much as you need.
What affects your mood
In addition to mastering his feelings, a person really needs to know: what and how can improve or worsen our mood. Below we list the generally accepted opinions on this matter and their compliance with reality:
Music
Music improves mood. Myth! According to many scientific studies, classical music can improve concentration. The secret, for example, of the works of Mozart is in the harmony of sound waves, which contribute to the harmonization of the processes taking place in the human brain.
An established fact! Music does not affect our mood, it affects our concentration and attention.
The brain is the same musical instrument as the violin and cello, only the waves emitted by nerve cells differ in length and frequency. However, this does not affect the mood itself. However, everyone can find their favorite music and relax to the sounds that they like.
Food
Food improves your mood. It really is. Sugary and fatty foods promote the release of endorphins, which, in turn, are quite pleasant sensations. Experiments support the fact that eating foods rich in polyunsaturated fatty acids can also improve mood.
On a note! Food can influence our mood. This can be used in everyday life.
People who consume deep sea fish and olive oil are less prone to depression than the rest of the world's population. It is this amazingly balanced diet that explains the Italian temperament, known throughout the world.
Age
Many say that mood progressively worsens with age. In fact, this is not the case. Over the years, many people begin to realize the value of positivism and deliberately saturate their lives with positive emotions, rejecting everything negative. Such a life experience is welcome.
By the way, research in the field of physiology confirms the fact that that part of the cerebral cortex, which is responsible for the emotional state, in an elderly person reacts more actively to positive emotions and, practically, does not respond to negative stimuli.
Exercise stress
Exercise improves mood. The secret is all in the same endogenous active substances that are released in response to physical activity. In order for a portion of the hormones of happiness to be released into the blood, it is not at all necessary to wind circles around the stadium, it is enough to walk at a fast pace for half an hour, dance or swim in the pool. Health benefits and mood increases.
Helpful! A little physical activity improves your mood! Dancing, walking, doing a little exercise will increase the level of endorphins in your blood and you will feel happier.
Smoking
They say that if you just quit smoking, you can forget about your good mood. This is a myth that came up with those who do not want to part with nicotine addiction. Not so long ago, research by American physiologists from Brown University was completed. They have confirmed an improvement in the mood of those heavy smokers who find the strength to quit smoking. Conversely, those patients who were unable to get rid of this addiction experience a sharp decline in mood.
Weather
Weather and meteorological conditions have a significant impact on mood. This is actually the case. Despite the high level of intelligence and the advantages that man has acquired in the course of his history and created for himself, we are still dependent on biological rhythms imposed on us by the environment.
Mood is influenced not only by stable diurnal rhythms, but also by other changes in the atmosphere and the space surrounding us, although scientists still find it difficult to answer why this is exactly how everything happens.
Bad mood and depression
Is there a difference between a bad mood and depression? No! The difference is solely in the duration and stability of this phenomenon. If the bad mood lasts for several days, then we can talk about a brief attack of depression, which was successfully stopped. But if this condition lasts for about two weeks, you cannot drag on further, you should immediately seek help from a professional psychiatrist or psychologist.
Don't mope! Bad mood and depression are one and the same, the only difference is in the length of time. If melancholy attacked you and keeps you for several days - take prompt measures to correct the situation!
Mood transfer
The mood is contagious! Chatting with a happy and contented person will certainly boost your mood. If there is always someone nearby whose thoughts are in a negative plane, you can forget about a good mood. From this point of view, communication with babies is very productive, a lot of positive energy always comes from them.
Output
Let go of your emotions and control them, listen to good music, be active, don't pay attention to the weather and negative people, quit bad habits. If you need help, look for it, and when you find it, be happy! Other articles on psychology: "Affectionate killers": mothers with Munchausen syndrome How to recognize a network boor and try to calm him down Why are people rude? Video What is emotional bondage and how is an emotional person exposed to it? What is burnout, why does emotional stress arise, and what kind of vicious circle do people walk in?
