The fact that a heroic profession is impossible without humor is demonstrated by numerous curiosities that happen in astronautics. The conquerors of the Universe are ordinary people, if you do not take into account their exceptional courage and altruism. And, accordingly, they love to joke.
This is how the most fearless people on the planet had fun.
The crew members themselves did not get lost either, hiding alcohol in the logbook, which turned out to be one of the most convenient secret places for cognac - with strong crusts, and even decorated with the emblem of the USSR. The astronauts tore off the note sheets, inserted a flat canister into the crusts, sealed the butt with paper, and inspiredly drew the edges of the pages with a pencil. At the entrance to the ship there was an officer who checked everything brought on board for compliance with the weight list, etc.
“Our 'jar for recordings' was allowed through,” recalled Georgiy Mikhailovich. - And only once did the officer-controller whisper: "Next time you pour the drink right up to the cork, otherwise the logbook gurgles very much."
Owen Garriot's most famous prank. This astronaut in 1973, as part of the Skylab crew, worked at the orbital station. Going on a flight, he took with him a dictaphone, on which he recorded several phrases of his wife at home, so that he could hear her voice in orbit.
Once, once again getting in touch with the Mission Control Center, he decided to prank Officer Robert Crippen. Owen brought the recorder to the transmitter and turned it on. As a result, the following dialogue took place between the station and the center:
“Skylab, this is Houston, do you hear?
“Good afternoon, Houston,” a cheerful female voice replied. “Skylab is listening.
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The officer on Earth was stunned. He decided to clarify:
- Who is the transmitter?
“Bob, this is Helen, Owen’s wife.
Bob was silent for a while, realizing what was happening, and then asked:
- What are you doing over there?
- I decided to cook a meal for the guys. Fresh, homemade,”Helen calmed him.
The earth was silent for about a minute, then shut down. Apparently, the officer's nerves could not stand it.
Thus, Soviet cosmonauts Vladimir Lyakhov and Valery Ryumin decided to amaze botanists all over the world by demonstrating a cucumber grown in the greenhouse of the Mir station. The pundits were delighted: before that, the plant did not even give an ovary, but here is a whole fruit. They asked not to eat the cucumber. They began to think how to deliver it to Earth. The scientific community was in ecstasy, until the astronauts confessed that the vegetable was brought from Earth, and demonstrated an orange secretly taken into orbit.
Kovalenok on "Salyut-6" was repairing a flabby video recorder, having forgotten to pull out a cassette with a favorite movie of astronauts - "White Sun of the Desert". Having repaired, I started to warm up, and in the meantime went about my business. Approximately two minutes pass - and suddenly the thunderous voice of Comrade Sukhov is heard throughout the station: "Great, fathers!" Kovalenok exchanged glances with flight engineer Ivanchenkov. The first thought was: hallucinations began. Moreover, the phrase "We've been sitting here for a long time" followed, and the crew had a hundredth day of flight …
This incident happened to Russian astronauts. Traditionally, the cosmonauts, upon returning from the flight, give their instructor something from the things that have been in orbit. This is often a watch.
A couple of days before the end of the flight, Vladimir Lyakhov discovered that he had lost his watch and tried to find it every free minute. He checked every interior trim panel, expecting to find it missing. In the end, there was only one untested panel left. It was fastened with fifty bolts. Lyakhov spent several hours to promote them all. When he opened the panel, he found a note inside: “There is no clock here. Kovalenok! By the way, that time Lyakhov never found his watch.
Klimuk and Sevastyanov flew on "Salyut-4" at a time when there were no visiting expeditions yet. Only double. Klimuk sailed away on business to the ship and closed the hatch behind him. Sevastyanov needed to consult with the commander, he swam to the hatch and knocked on it. Klimuk from behind the hatch: "Who is there?"
The Salyut-6 crew, Popov and Ryumin, decided to play the Mission Control Center. In one of the communication sessions, appearing in front of the cameras, they asked to wait a second. On Earth, they were perplexed: who are they still waiting for? And they were dumbfounded when from the depths of the station came out … the third cosmonaut! Moreover, accompanied by Ryumin's displeased grumble: "You are always late." As it turned out, it was just a spacesuit inflated with air, in which the astronauts start and return to Earth.
During one of the long flights, it was April 1. The astronauts, loaded with work, somehow forgot about him. But the MCC operator is not. Gave me on board: "We don't like telemetry, ventilate the station." - "How?" - "Open the window for ten minutes." At the station, at last, they realized about Fools' Day, and answered in tune. The next day, as luck would have it, the State Commission showed up at the MCC. They listen to the crew's report - and on the phrase “… the station was aired”, they literally “go crazy”. "What have you aired?" - “Station. According to the assignment ". - "How???" - "Opened the window for ten minutes." "The jokes of humor" in the State Commission flatly refused to understand, therefore, upon returning to Earth, the crew flew in.
Flight engineer "Salyut-7" Vladimir Solovyov was once in orbit … beaten. With fists. It was like this: the visiting expedition cosmonaut Igor Volk woke up before everyone else. I decided to warm up. I noticed in the working compartment among the bags hanging there, one that seemed softer to him, and began to use it as a punching bag. And it turned out to be a sleeping bag in which Soloviev slept in the sleep of the righteous …
The unspoken champion in space jokes is the astronaut Owen Garriott, who managed to play the MCC in Houston twice in one flight at the Skylab station. You can imagine when, in the midst of a stream of boring technical data from the board, the lines suddenly appear: “Hell is in the middle of the sun. We see the dead burning. We see hell”! And then - as if nothing had happened.
