Most people have very similar ideas about attractiveness: correct waist-to-hip ratio, symmetrical facial features, good health, calm and kind disposition. However, in reality, the choice of a partner is often far from this ideal. Moreover, we step on the same rake over and over again, entering into relationships with those who, like two drops of water, resemble our exes.
One type for life
Ten years ago, scientists at the University of Toronto (Canada) persuaded 159 men and 173 women to tell them about their personal lives and the qualities that attract them in sexual partners. Then, over the course of nine years, all participants in the study reported once a year about what was happening in their love front - whether the relationship they had reported last time had survived or new ones had emerged. In addition, scientists, using a special questionnaire, compiled psychological portraits of volunteers and their second half.
showed that people, as a rule, choose those who are close in terms of education and character traits. But the most interesting thing: the new partners described themselves in much the same way as the previous ones. In other words, the volunteers, despite their love experience - the study does not specify whether it was positive or negative - continued to select those who closely resembled their ex. Less commonly, people with high rates of extraversion and openness to new experiences did this.
According to the authors of the work, everyone has their own vision of what character traits and appearance an ideal second half should have. For a new romantic relationship, they are looking for the most consistent with these ideas and, therefore, prefer a person who looks like a former partner.
In the image and likeness of parents
The image of a romantic partner develops in childhood and this is strongly influenced by parents, says Patrick Bateson, professor of ethology at Cambridge University. Thus, the daughters of older fathers are more likely to marry men much older than them, and children from interracial marriages create families with representatives of the same race to which the parents of the opposite sex belonged to them. In addition, it depends on the mother how many times the children will enter into romantic relationships. And it's not just about character. American researchers have studied the data of over seven thousand people, over thirty years, told in detail about their personal lives. It turned out that the number of partners in their children is directly related to this indicator in mothers. Scientists have suggested that children copy the mother's communication skills and adopt traits,making it more or less attractive to potential partners. For example, if a woman was prone to depression and because of this had difficulties with the opposite sex, the same behavior was observed in her sons and daughters.
I look at you like in a mirror
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Many studies demonstrate that when choosing a partner, we strive to find a person who is most similar to ourselves - both in appearance and in behavior. Thus, people with mental disorders tend to pair up with those with the same diagnosis. This is especially true for those suffering from attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, autism, schizophrenia and drug addiction. Moreover, often one of the partners contributes to the manifestation of the disease in the other. As for healthy people, people with the same level of intelligence are usually sought for romantic relationships. British and Dutch researchers, having studied the genomes of 1,600 pairs, based on gene combinations, determined the approximate level of academic performance during school and university. It turned out that most spouses have about the same indicators. Moreover, this is typical for couples from the same locality or studied together, and for those who met only in adulthood. The fact that many couples have the same level of education has long been considered the result of socio-cultural attitudes. But it seems that genetics also influences the choice.
Alfiya Enikeeva
