At all times, people were interested in their future, so they often turned to fortune-tellers and soothsayers. Influential people in power were especially worried about what fate had in store for them, so they could keep personal prophets with them.
In more ancient times, for example, among the Greeks, even the gods themselves depended on fate and obeyed the goddesses of fate. In modern times, science and scientists are already dealing with fate, there are many interesting discoveries that help us understand our essence and future.
Science has found out that, indeed, there is a certain scenario of fate based on the genetic code of a person, on which what kind of temperament he will have and what abilities he will have.
The genetic code is formed by our parents and contains qualities and capabilities. But their presence does not always mean their embodiment - they can develop under favorable conditions or not develop at all.
Abilities are realized to the maximum extent in psychologically healthy people who are constantly trying to develop spiritually and physically. They are always learning and reaching new stages of development. People suffering from various neurotic disorders find many excuses and reasons why they cannot achieve success, they blame fate and life for this.
If temperament is a physiological characteristic and depends on the gene set, then the character is formed in the process of upbringing, with the help and direct participation of parents. While the child is still dependent, mom and dad and how they behave play an important role in his life. Education plays a very important role, it is like a sculptor - it creates a finished work from the base.
Two children raised in the same family will differ in character and behavior, because they have a different genetic code and temperament, so in the end, brothers and sisters may not be alike at all.
Character is a system of persistent, almost constant individual personality traits that reflect her attitude and behavior towards herself, people and work. The character has several basic qualities - integrity, activity, hardness, stability and plasticity.
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Quantitative parameters
Integrity is the absence of contradictions in relation to people, oneself, the world around us and work. Integrity is expressed in a balance, in the totality of all the traits and interests of an individual, in the compatibility of relations with different aspects of life. I believe that most characters are holistic, in the sense that a person's external behavior reflects his internal system of relationships.
This means that if a person behaves two-facedly, then inside he has sharp contradictions in his content. So women often unsuccessfully choose their partners, being psychologically unprepared and not knowing what compliments and declarations of love of their chosen ones mean.
You must listen carefully and weigh every word. If a man tells a girl that there is no one more beautiful than her, that she is kinder and better than everyone, then you are a womanizer. He has someone to compare with, and he may soon be carried away by another, and each next will also be the most beautiful.
If a young man claims that he does not see the meaning of life without his beloved, that without her he will be lost and completely disappear, then most likely he is an alcoholic or someone who will definitely become him in the future. It is extremely important to know these behavioral points, the broader your horizons, the less likely you are to have unhappy personal stories in your life.
Activity is expressed in the ability to resist unfavorable circumstances and the amount of that energy that goes into fighting obstacles. Depending on the activity, the characters are strong and weak. The strength of character directly depends on the sociogen - the personality complex. A person with a weak character can also fulfill the requirements dictated by the sociogen, because the implementation of activity is determined by character. And if the direction of activity is combined with fate, then the person will have enough energy.
Firmness is manifested in the persistence and perseverance of a person in the process of achieving goals and defending their opinions. Sometimes excessive strength of character can become stubbornness. Stability determines the invariability of our character, despite the changeability of the world, events and our position in society. Character is a fairly stable characteristic, so it is extremely difficult to change it. Individuals with an unstable character are likely to have many psychological problems in general, and one of the main ones is instability.
Plasticity - the ability to adapt to a changed world, the ability to change and adapt to a completely unusual reality, in stressful situations. If even with radical changes, the character is unchanged, this indicates his rigidity.
Quantitative parameters
The famous psychotherapist Bern, given the huge variety of character traits, identified three main parameters by which one can determine the character: relationships with oneself are "I", relationships with loved ones are "You", relationships with all people in general are "They" …
Berne suggested that these qualities inherent in a person by parents in childhood can have both positive and negative connotations, and determine in the future his behavior and life path, which he called a "scenario." Often people do not understand why such events happen to them, and do not associate them with their childhood. I added a fourth parameter to Bern's system - "Labor".
If a person's childhood went well, and he received a good upbringing, then all parameters will be positive, with a plus sign. But if the parents made mistakes in upbringing, then, accordingly, some or all of the parameters acquire a minus sign, and a complex, a sociogen, can form, which will strongly influence the behavior and fate of a person.
The individual is a harmonious and healthy person with the "I" parameter with "+". This means that he has the right upbringing, he adequately evaluates himself and realizes successful. Position should not be confused with self-esteem. The position is practically not realized by a person and is formed under the influence of parents in childhood, its direction is quite difficult to change.
Self-esteem may vary depending on the situation. If a person has too high requirements for himself and for events, then self-esteem is low. No success and success will satisfy a person, he will always want even better, always see shortcomings and disadvantages.
In the “you” position with “+”, relationships with loved ones and people around you are happy, friendly, and bring joy. A person is always ready to help his loved ones, to support, he considers them to be successful people. If “-” prevails in the “you” parameter, it means that the person's mood is initially hostile and conflicting with respect to close people. Often such personalities are distinguished by caustic humor, criticality about everything and everyone, picky and discontent. To build relationships with such people, you have to constantly give in to them.
When communicating, they often choose the role of the Persecutor, but there are also Delivers. This role hides aggression that is not visible at first glance. For example, these are leaders who take on all important issues and complex tasks, thereby inhibiting the growth of their colleagues.
When the "They" parameter is set to "+" - a person likes to communicate with people, get acquainted and make new friends. In people he sees a lot of positive, interesting and worthy. If the parameter "They" is with "-", then the person first notices shortcomings in people, and only then their advantages. At the same time, he himself is extremely shy, difficult to communicate and is reluctant to make contact and make new acquaintances.
When an individual has "Labor" in "+", he enjoys the process of work, prefers to solve complex problems for self-development and professional growth, he enjoys finding creative solutions to issues. The material component is not so important for him, but he achieves high performance and success.
If “Labor” has a “-” sign, then a person has a clear focus on material gain. Money, not development, worries him first and foremost in any work. Therefore, he is constantly chasing large sums and a better life, in pursuit of forgetting to live here and now.
If “-” is present in one of the parameters, then the positive value of others is doubly amplified, for example, if “you” is with “-”, then the positive value of “I” may be too hypertrophied.
Now it is clear to us that a person can be harmonious, healthy and prosperous only with all positive meanings. Only such a person will correctly and adequately perceive himself, his victories and defeats, his loved ones and their shortcomings and advantages. He will successfully contact people, expand the circle of acquaintances, succeed in work and what he loves, experience life shakes with wisdom and calmness.
There are such people and there are many of them. And in order for such personalities to become more and more, young parents should raise their children more carefully, without interfering with their development and knowledge of the world. Support, but not interfere, not dictate your own rules and not break the psyche of children.
After all, no one interferes with the tree to grow and it grows strong and healthy, so do children - you just need a little help, but not try to impose your life plan. The child himself knows what he wants and what is interesting to him, and it is best not to interfere with his choice, because this is his destiny.
Author: Mikhail Litvak
